The Phantom Stabber

We are all having a good time eating snacks when the phone rings. One of the ladies from registration calls and ask us to help get a patient out of the car. I volunteered to go out because usually its total crap. How is it you could walk to the car from your house but as soon as you get to the ER you become incapacitated? I get out there and find a young black male laid out on the back seat so I ask him to get up to the wheelchair. He tells me he cannot because he got stabbed and is in pain.

There is lots of blood everywhere so I believe him and go back in to get a stretcher. I take the wheelchair back in and the nursing supervisor and the charge nurse want to know where is the patient. I tell them the story and they take the wheelchair from me and insist on going to make the young man get in a wheelchair. Well have at it then if you can do better. People presume to know better than me all the time so who am I to stand in the way. This is in no way to say I am right all the time. A good 10-20% of the time I am wrong but I never professed to be the perfect nurse in the first place. While they run back out there with the wheelchair I get an empty bed and proceed back out there myself.

I arrive to find them are trying to help him out the car and it’s not going well. Once he does crawl to the edge of the SUV they see his back is covered in blood. Well this changes their mind and they scoot out the way to allow me to get the stretcher in position. I push him into the first trauma room available, roll him over and strip off his clothes. There are 3 deep stab wounds to his lower back and hips. I this someone you want to be trying to get up into a wheelchair? I think not but how could the young travel nurse know better than you.

We send him for X-rays and once he comes back I start cleaning him up. “So how did this happen,” I ask him. He was just getting off work from Wal-Mart and was riding home with his girlfriend who works there with him. He had to pee so she pulled over to the side of the road. He states he got out and walked away from the car to pee and  someone walked up on him and tried to rob him. He states he resisted and they stabbed him and ran off into the darkness.

I’m still scratching my head after I wrote that last sentence. I work in the middle of nowhere. NO ONE walks out here. So if they approached him they would have to have done so by driving up to him first.You going to sit here with a straight face and tell him you didn’t see car lights pull up behind you and didn’t look. Bro, why you lying?

Anyways, what can I do but roll with it. The charge nurse is “gong ho” as always about the technicalities and calls the cops to have them come investigate. Now let’s be honest if he wanted to have the cops involved he would have called himself but since we enjoy wasting public resources why stop today. So the cops come and investigate and he gives them the same story and they go thorough the motions of taking his statement. Afterwards they go to the ER lobby and interview the girlfriend.

While they do that his wounds are still bleeding despite the pressure bandages. The doctor decides the wounds are too deep to suture without risking infection so he decides to schedule him for surgery.  I ask the officers to bring the girlfriend in to say goodbye to him before surgery and they bring her in wearing handcuffs. Well this just got more interesting.

So after they leave I pull one of the officers to the side to get the real story. So the guy was cheating on his girl with someone at work and she found out. On the way home he got out the car to walk away and she grabbed her box cutter from work and stabbed him in the back 3x. He didn’t want her to get in trouble so they came up with the bogus story before coming to the ER.

Just another day in the ER. What crazy stories have you encountered in your visits to the hospital or while working there? Let us know in the comment section below.

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